Why a Man Should Avoid Jezebels and Sleep With His Wife

Men need to stay away from the seductress for only fools go near her. In the book of Proverbs, the wise father recounts looking out of the window of his house (Proverbs 7:6–9). What has he seen? He has seen the simple young fool. What is the simple young fool doing? He’s passing near the home of the seductress. When is he doing it? At night in the darkness. He’s an ignorant guy doing an ignorant thing in an ignorant way. The father has told his son to avoid this strange woman many times. He has told his son not to go near her house. The fool thinks he can get close to sin. The fool puts himself in situations he should never have been in. 

The father explains that the seductress deserves to be avoided. He describes her ugliness (Proverbs 7:10–13). She is “dressed as a prostitute.” She signals men by the way she dresses. She wants men’s eyes on her. She wants to show them her sexual promiscuity. She is wily of heart. She is crafty or skilled at gaining an advantage. She is loud. She knows nothing of the “gentle and quiet spirit,” which is very precious in God’s sight (1 Peter 3:4). She is wayward. She’s stubborn against God and His commandments. She’s hardened in her crooked ways. Her feet do not stay at home. She is not satisfied with what God has given her. She is out and about always, coveting, looking for more than what is hers. She is covering every corner lying in wait for her prey. She’s not one who hopes in the Lord like the holy women of old (1 Peter 3:5). She’s not waiting on God to satisfy her desire. She seizes the fool, kisses him, and with bold face, speaks. The shock of such an encounter leaves the fool stupefied. 

But it shouldn’t. We call to mind a thousand images of such a woman suddenly kissing a man like this. In our day, such action is passed with a chuckle and a shaking of the head. But it should not be. What wicked sin is on display? Her pride. Her “bold face”—that is, her impudent, shameless, defiant face. She has not done anything attractive. She has done an abomination. She has not done anything cute. She reversed God’s good and right established order. 

The father warns his son to keep away from the seductress for she persuades with seductive speech (Proverbs 7:14–21). She pretends that all is right between her and God. She has, after all, offered her sacrifices. She flatters the fool. She’s come out just for him. She’s sought him out diligently. She’s now found just what she was looking for. She makes false promises of joy and passion and has taken great measures so they can delight themselves with sexual immorality. She overcomes his hesitations with false assurances, and she guarantees there will be no consequences, for her husband is on a long journey. Mark the tactics of the seductress. Note how many ways the truth can be manipulated, and keep away. 

The father warns his son that this woman has taken many an ignorant fool to death (Proverbs 7:22–27). The fool goes like an ox to the slaughter, like a stag pierced in the liver by an arrow, or like a bird in a snare. The fool has been played. He does not know his actions will cost him his life. See the danger. You can honestly think, “I’m good,” and can genuinely believe you have things under control, saying, “These words of warning don’t apply to me.” All your genuine feelings don’t mean a thing. You’re still dead. 

So, what should you do? Embrace your wife.


If a man would avoid the sexual sin that kills, then he must embrace his wife. He should do so because she is his permanent source of satisfaction. “Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well” (Proverbs 5:15). This well is a picture of a wife. A well supplies a home with satisfying water. Likewise, a wife supplies her husband with satisfying sexual love. It is significant that the picture is one of a well and not merely a vessel or a cup. The wife is not a paper cup to be used and discarded. She is the well-water system. She is the very source of sexual love and satisfaction for her husband. Ask yourself how valuable the water source for your home is. Without it, you die. Then you will know how noble the wife is as the permanent source of satisfaction for her husband. 

Moreover, embrace your wife because spending your sexual love on other women is a defiling waste. “Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets?” (Proverbs 5:16). The picture is one of a precious resource ruined. When a spouse goes astray, the intimate passion once enjoyed in the marriage union is spilled out in the filthy streets. One of the most precious gifts God has given has been scattered on polluted street corners. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let the marriage bed be undefiled.” This is no arbitrary rule. It is the wisdom of God. He wants his children to know the joy of going to an undefiled marriage bed in covenant love. 

In marriage, you are now one with your spouse in an exclusive sexual union. “Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you” (Proverbs 5:17). These waters of intimate love are not for foreigners. These waters are to be enjoyed by husband and wife, best friends in covenant with each other before God. Christ says in Mark 10:7–8, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh.” 

Embracing your wife includes rejoicing in her. You should be happy in your wife. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the L o r d .” A part of that rejoicing includes being intoxicated always in her love. “A lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love” (Proverbs 5:19). The Bible forbids drunkenness and commands drunkenness. It forbids being drunk with wine and requires that a man be drunk in the love of his wife. He is not only to be intoxicated every now and then but always

The son is encouraged to embrace his wife because embracing an adulteress is stupid. “Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?” (Proverbs 5:20). The answer is that there is absolutely no reason why. It is a senseless thing to do. She cannot provide satisfaction but only a bitter death. A God-given remedy to our sexually polluted age then is the regular enjoyment of the undefiled marriage bed. 

This blog is an excerpt from my book Wisdom for Kings and Queens which Canon Press has just published. I wrote this book because, well, let’s be honest—the train has gone off the tracks. We have manifestly entered Crazy Town. And insanity is never a good long-term strategy. What are Christians to do in such foolish and evil days? Get wisdom fast, quick, and in a hurry.

If you’d like to order the book, it is available for purchase right now at CanonPress.com.