A Quick Guide on Dealing With Marriage Bumps

close up photo of a condenser microphone

Martin Luther once said, “There is a lot to get used to in the first year of marriage; one wakes up in the morning and finds a pair of pigtails on the pillow which were not there before.” Family is rightly called “the school of character.” You will get all sorts of opportunities to confess your sin and put on new virtues. But, there are also plenty of opportunities to get out of fellowship with one another. So here is some practical instruction so that you can deal with marriage bumps: 

First, determine whether the offense should be addressed in love or covered in love. He overcooked the steaks; let love cover it without mention. He’s swearing and cursing the barbeque gods in the backyard because he overcooked the steaks; go ahead and bring that one up with him.

If a sin needs to be addressed, then confront it simply, forgive immediately, and get on with your day.

Remember that you’re both justified, even amid a conflict. This is a truth that stables the emotions and frames the disagreement.

There is a place for addressing mid-grade shortcomings in a mid-grade manner. On the one hand, don’t nitpick. On the other hand, you don’t have to wait until she’s gone full white witch of winter before you bring up her demeanor toward the kids.

Related, when you identify a shortcoming in your spouse, ask the Lord to address it with your spouse before you do so. He often straightens things out, and a spouse is won without a word.

When you are out of sorts, get back into fellowship before you do anything else. Keep short accounts.